I suffer from a great number of thwarts on a daily basis. Part of that is my Groundhog Day lifestyle, and a lot of it is my inability to lower my standards as to what is possible given the circumstances I’m under. Last week at post-partum yoga, I talked about accepting the new normal of chaos in my world. A book was mentioned that based its title on the following anecdote:
questioner to Zorba: Have you ever been married?
Zorba replies: Am I not a man? Of course I’ve been married. Wife, House, Kids, everything…the Full Catastrophe.
Indeed.
Neither I nor Zorba apparently mean this in a derogatory manner, but as a statement of reality, the new normal, if you will. In embracing to the best of my (over-achieving) ability this Full Catastrophe of that is my world, I can enjoy more of the bits and pieces of light, those things that don’t thwart me, or when they do, I find something else. It is clear that the work ahead of me is to let loose, breathe, enjoy. It will not come easy, especially as underslept and wrung-out as I am, though it is clearly worth doing.
Driving home from the chiropractor today, I was entranced by a flock of pigeons that had alighted to the wires about two blocks up from my house. They were piled close for warmth I’d guess, and the line of them was very beautiful with the rowhouses and solid cloud sky. I got in the door, picked up my camera, and set back out. I walked back up to them, all still on their wires, began to set the light meter, got just into focus, *swooosh* and they all took off as a mass, circling once, twice, then were gone, alighted somewhere else, some other set of wires and rooftops out of sight. I waited a few moments, lightly scoffing at the rudeness of the birds to not stay for my lovely pictures of them, then wandered slightly further up the block to where a small old church is being renovated. They’ve cleared the brambles and branches and I could see the plastic flipping in the wind on paneless tower windows and hear the hammering of work inside. To the door was taped a printout sign: “La Iglesia” then in small letters below “the church”. I could smell hispanic lunch within as well as hear bright traditional Mexican music spilling out the plasticed windows. My little neighborhood! has Mexicans! how delightful! I had my camera and snapped a few angles, even knocked on the door in the hopes that there was someone else not up in the tower working and enjoying the music. No answer. So I wandered back down towards home, crossing paths with a local older man walking his dog. I chatted at him, asking if he knew what was happening with the corner church. Indeed, he’d heard they were renovating to have apartments and a community space. Delightful again! We kibitzed a bit more, him telling me about the previous resident of the church as well as that it was an old “colored” church in times past. “They’d come in there from around, have their funerals and everything.” I simply told him how pleased I am that a great old building was getting a new roof and a new life. Having settled the matter, he called his dog on up the block and I sauntered home, looking up at the wires-sans-pigeons, considering lunch and a cup of hot tea.
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In a bit of googling, I found this marvelous sermon on The Full Catastrophe. Give it a read; it’s worth it. (Susan, you’ll love it.)
Filed by joy at 12:42 am under baby, visuals
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